In a compendium of damn fool things people have invented, Audi creating a car boot badging schematic that focused purely on estimated power bands is up there with the ill-fated parachute coat, the short-lived betamax videos and Holly Valance’s pop career.
Abject confusion has reigned from the very outset of Audi insisting on putting a 55 on the arse-end of a model which makes most people wrongly believe that the car in question is packing a mighty 5.5-litre engine beneath its hood.
When in actual fact, the two digit structures denotes the amount of power the vehicle produces.
Which in the case of an A1, isn’t anything to really write home about.
(Image: Audi's big '5' '0')
But Wasn’t This Powertrain-based Naming System Not Entirely Foolproof In Itself?....
More perversely still, the figures don’t seem to relate to the model’s BHP figures whatsoever.
Apparently the 55 is the titular power output bracket said vehicle falls into.
For example, all models with a 55 badge are purportedly harnessing a sliding scale of BHP between 324 and 363.
Which is about as clear as the proverbial mud.
And peak Audi logic, in our experiences.
To make matters even more bewildering, there are gaps between the BHP categories. Which results in some of Audi’s own models not technically fitting into its own math.
Let us explain further, if you still have a pulse at this point.
A 3.0-litre A6 BiTDi generates 320bhp.
So therefore falls short of subscription to the 55 group entry requirements. Yet produces too much horsepower for the 50 group below. Which demands that members possess between 278bhp and 304bhp.
Which subsequent shortfall means it's barred.
If this is not the most Audi thing you’ve ever read then we’d eat a pair of your typical owners’ Balenciaga trainers.
It was back in 2017 that Audi first phased in its powertrain-based digitising, with the following table perhaps best describing what Audi was thinking at the time.
Or not, as its fiercest critics might concur.
(Image: Audi's 55 club)
Boot Badge To Power Ratio Explained
30 - 110bhp - 130bhp
35 - 150bhp - 163bhp
40 - 170bhp - 205bhp
45 - 230bhp - 250bhp
50 - 285bhp - 313bhp
55 - 333bhp - 375bhp
60 - 435bhp - 463bhp
70 - 545bhp+
Come In Audi, Your Number’s Up
But anyway, like all ‘good’ things, even Audi’s bizarre boot badging identification must come to an end.
And according to the automotive media this last week, that demise is imminent.
The nomenclature system was ushered in some seven years ago as a reimagining of its previous model naming code, largely based on nonsensical metrics.
Or flushbunking, if we choose to adopt Roald Dahl’s more appropriate language.
Now it seems that Audi has listened to its core demographic and abandoned its befuddled boot badge lexicon.
And not before time.
Rumour has it that Ingolstadt is reverting to single model names to differentiate cars which don’t require differentiating over.
Because generally speaking, it turns out that nobody is remotely interested in a bhp calculator prominently featuring on the beam end of a vehicle.
Even an Audi.
Hence the Q8 e-tron and Q6 e-tron.
Petrol and diesel Audi’s will also affect changes, with the future A5 and A7 more likely to embrace some name extensions going forward. Such as the old-fashioned TDi (Turbocharged Direct Injection) and TFSi (Turbo Fuel Stratified Injection).
Ahh. The halcyon days of letters actually having some relevance.
And trim levels which harked back to the golden era of the Vauxhall Nova SXi Jet Black. And the Ford Sierra Chasseur. And the Daihatsu Charade GTti with its mystical extra ‘T’.
(Image: Audi's '4' to the power of '5)
Three. Are The Magic Initials.
The only letters you really need to concern yourself with are the following.
WCC.
Which as you know stands for Wirral Car Care.
If you drive an Audi, irrespective of the boot alpha numericals, then you need to talk to our team when it comes to servicing, diagnostics, general repair work and MOT’s.
Our skilled and experienced technicians know their Audi’s inside and out.
Although are probably equally confuddled when it comes to the frankly messed up BHP sliding scale of recent history.